apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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