I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Randomize
