Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
