meet me or not, i'm out of control
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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