please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
