I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
