may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
