He uses pillows to masturbate.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize