butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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