You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
