Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
