its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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