Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
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