so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
