I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Small penises have feelings too.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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