She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
