I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
