i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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