He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
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