dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
