Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
