how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Is it penis luge time yet?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
