there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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