I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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