so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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