I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
All I want is dick and wine.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
