i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
