So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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