she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
