Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I am mentally ready for anal.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
