we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
