This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
