I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
