its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
