If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
