Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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