try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
