so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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