Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
