she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
