No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
