I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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