Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize