are you still at the devil's house?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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