WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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