ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
