You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
