Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
