I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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