you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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