I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
