My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Randomize
