I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
