i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
this is an emotional support booty call
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
