wakey wakey hands off snakey
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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