Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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