So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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