Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
