She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
