so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
