dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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