Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
