I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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