just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
