I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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