quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She swung at the pinata with crutches
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
