why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
